Today I was thinking about the nature of human relationships – not any specific type of relationship, just the way we connect (or don’t) with any number of people, in so many different ways.
In fact, today I found myself reflecting on a friendship from years past – a deep, artistic, soulful friendship – that seemed destined to crumble apart. Yet it maintained its integrity long enough for the forging of one of the greatest creative achievements in my life.
Of course, in every relationship, you are host to a myriad of shadows that both people bring along with them. Accents and overtures, ecstasies and broken glass, all rippled and buried, sometimes deeply…sometimes right at the surface.
In the midst of awkward connections, time usually has the last say – pushing, pulling, eroding and building… Sometimes relationships are meant to weather storms, and sometimes it’s best to hole up in a cave alone somewhere until things look safe.
I’m completely at peace with this friendship that rapidly dissolved – it was a perplexing time, but sometimes people carry enough beneath the surface, that they are their own force of nature.
In the grand scheme of things, it seems pretty vital – at least to me – to learn that it’s totally ok to not click with some humans. Or to be friends…and then just not be. For a long time, I really wanted people to like me. Most people seemed to at LEAST tolerate me, so when someone developed a distaste for some part of who I am, it really got under my skin.
But sometimes there are valuable lessons to be learned in the midst of unpleasant circumstances. Sometimes you learn more about your own failures and imperfections, when you are trying to understand someone else’s broken spirit.
To quote BTS, before you can be great for anyone else, in any type of relationship, you first need to learn to Love Yourself.