I am a deeply flawed human being. Most of us are.
I have no need to enumerate the ways in which I fall short of idyllic goals, or even basic morality. It’s a long list, and I doubt it would impress anyone.
On the whole, I have a fairly decent lock on my own self-esteem, and while I openly acknowledge my failures and misjudgments – I also take joy in those rare moments, when I do something or say something – and for the briefest of seconds, I am perfect. I am untouchable. I see what I have conjured into existence, and I smile. Is this a common occurrence?
I hope it is – I genuinely hope you all have at least small bits of time, when the captivating and precious creature that is ‘you’ – manages to distill a bit of yourself into some gift that others may partake of.
I know for me – I FEEL these moments, nearly instantly. I will write someone a message…just a few simple lines of text – and just like thunder following lightning, I am awash with a simple and amazing sensation. I know, without a doubt, that I wrote a sentiment from within my soul, and somehow shaped it with clumsy English words, and crafted a moment of perfection. I’m almost giddy when I share said message, because I just KNOW I crushed it. A little smile creeps along the edge of my lips, because in that moment, I was the purest distillation of what I have to offer this world.
For the most part, I’ve only had these moments in connection to writing, and photography. There are, brilliant, wondrous exceptions – but they most often involve mysterious train adventures…
By the by, I have not yet experienced one of those moments, while writing this series of thoughts and essays… SO, I suppose if you have found any of my writings at this point to be particularly enjoyable/relevant to you – then HOLD ON, I’m bound to write something really special… at some point or another.
It’s no coincidence that these little pockets of self-admiration are intimately connected to my realization of what spirituality is. When I feel the glow of creation, and step back to appreciate whatever bit of storytelling I’ve unveiled – that is one of two times in which I am the most open to the concept of some sort of deeper meaning to my consciousness – a sense of unique purpose that transcends random biological evolution…or at least builds on it.
I am the sensical turtle, and I am magnificent (sometimes)